how long?

Excerpt from this article on rediff:

Apparently unhappy over New Delhi's handling of the Tibet issue, China on Friday chose not to invite any Indian diplomat in the tour of foreign envoys to riot-scarred Lhasa, amid intensified global pressure to stop the crackdown on Tibetans and open a dialogue with the Dalai Lama

its not much of a big slight, but slight it certianly is. more such and even the Communist-supported UPA coalition will have to stand up agaisnt Chinese bullying of India.

why India must stand up for Tibet

Prof Sumit Ganguly writes and I fully endorse:

New Delhi's reluctance to challenge China over Tibet goes back to Beijing's brutal repression of the Khampa revolt 50 years ago, when the Dalai Lama, the spiritual and temporal head of the Tibetans, fled to India. Although China sharply reproved India for providing refuge to the Dalai Lama, India stood its ground. Shortly thereafter, following a breakdown of negotiations over a disputed border, China attacked and defeated India in October 1962. Even though India's army has since been modernized and prepared for mountain warfare, the memory of this rout still haunts Indian military planners and policymakers. That's why, when the Chinese army periodically crosses the border, India responds with anodyne criticism. And why India has been willing to publicly and abjectly reassure China that the Tibetan exiles will not be allowed to engage in any meaningful political activity.

Appeasement might not be a bad policy if it actually succeeded in keeping Beijing satisfied, but it doesn't. There is not a shred of evidence that it has ever moderated Chinese behavior. Whenever Tibetan exiles have engaged in minor protests, Beijing has sternly rebuked India for allowing them to engage in political activities. Faced with Beijing's continued expressions of discontent, New Delhi has rarely missed an opportunity to genuflect before the Middle Kingdom. The Tibetan crackdown is only the latest example.

This humiliating deference undermines India's national interests as a rising Asian power and corrodes its credentials as a liberal democracy. If China can so easily cow Indian policymakers, then India's claims to great power status in Asia, let alone beyond, appear utterly hollow. It shows that Indian policymakers have been, to use a term from the cold war era, Finlandized—constrained by a foreign power. Some policy options cannot even be considered for fear of offending China. India, for example, has had little to say about China's penetration of much of Burma and its ongoing quest for military bases in that country. India has also exercised great caution in pursuing any significant commercial ties with Taiwan for fear of incurring the wrath of the mainland. What does it say about India as a democracy if the authorities harass law-abiding Tibetans who are only engaging in peaceful protests? Such actions are fundamentally contrary to the principles of a liberal democracy that enshrines the right of public political dissent.

allow Tibet into the Indian Union!

Excerpted from this article by Lhasang Tsering, Former President of Tibetan Youth Congress:

Be that as it may. I have often wondered why India doesn't stake its claim on Tibet. Between China - which seeks to exterminate the Tibetan people and to wipe out Tibetan religion and culture; and India - which gave Tibet the Buddha Dharma and has helped to save Tibetan religion and culture - there is no doubt; India has the greater claim. It is like the story of young Prince Siddhartha who saves the swan his cousin Prince Devadatta has shot. The claim of the latter rests on the grounds of having shot the swan. On the other hand, Prince Siddhartha - the future Buddha - stakes his claim on the grounds of having saved the life of the wounded swan. The King rightly awards the swan to Prince Siddhartha. In today's world of realpolitik and spineless world leaders, we could hardly hope for such a decisive verdict. Nevertheless; even if only as a diplomatic exercise, why doesn't India file a case in the International Court of Justice and also raise the issue in the United Nations to stake its claims over Tibet ?

In the first place India gave Buddhism to Tibet - the life-force of Tibetan life and culture. Today India has rendered crucial assistance and helped to save Tibetan religion and culture. If Tibet must belong to either of its giant neighbours, then surely, it should be to India - which has helped to save Tibet; and not China - which seeks to destroy Tibet.

Even on the part of the Tibetan people, if we decide that Tibetan independence is not achievable (this is the present position of the Tibetan Government-in-Exile to which I am totally opposed) and that the only option for us is to settle for some form of autonomy - however genuine or false - why then do we not decide to be a part of India ? Under any given situation or conceivable scenario; Tibet will fare far better under India than under China.

Sri Aurobindo on the native Indian commune!

(A disciple:) [In India] the forests are being depleted of animals.

Sri Aurobindo: The forests have to be preserved and also the wildlife. China destroyed all her forests and the result is that there is flood every year.

In Socialism you have the State which intervenes at every step with its officials who rob money.... It is the State bureaucracy that dictates the policy irrespective of the good of the commune. In Communism they hold the land as the common property of the whole unit, and each one is entitled to labour and to have his share from the produce.

In India we had a kind of communism in the villages. The whole village was like a big family and the lowest had his right as a member of the family. The washerman, the carpenter, the blacksmith, the barber, all got what they needed. That is the only communism that is practicable. Each such commune can be independent and many such units can be scattered all over the country and they can combine or coordinate their activities for a common purpose.

excerpted again from India's rebirth, part V. bold by me

Sri Aurobindo on Communism

(A disciple:) Communism began with a high ideal and it is certainly better than Fascism or Nazism.

Sri Aurobindo: In which way better? Formerly people were unconscious slaves, now under Communism they are conscious slaves.... They are bound to the State, the dictator and the party. They can't even choose the dictator. And whoever differs from them is mercilessly suppressed.... The whole thing whatever its name is a fraud. It is impossible to change humanity by political machinery; it can't be done.

from India's rebirth, part-V

Excessive guilt and oversized ego related?

Are excessive guilt and the asssociated emotions really something noble to have, a self-corrective mechanism or really a big problem by themelves? A healthy dose of guilt can surely be a great aid in being a channel for the 'small still voice within' to filter out and exercise a guiding effect in our lives. Nobody is perfect- as long as it is accepted that what is right has to be adopted, mistakes however big, are only devaitaions from the path. The greater the deviation, the greater must the urgency be, in retracing the steps. As simple as that.

But when guilt becomes a morbid obsession alsomot to the point of being self-destructive, driving individuals and societies to perpetually wallow in sorrow, is it good for anyone at all? A wrong done in the past cannot be undone even by a thousand rights - what to speak of a thousand depressing elegies from a guilt-obessessed psyche. The only thing that can be done now, is to resolve firmly, that it will not be repeated and take all steps in that direction. But an obsession with guilt never allows this- clinging on to cannot benefit and will not affect the present or the futur in any way. Rather, it will result in terminal illness and a desire for self-destruction.

This is so obviously clear to commonsense reason. But why do individuals and societies indulge in guilt-binge to the breaking point? Rather than put corrective mechanisms in place so that atleast the future is secure, why do so many people chosse instead, to chase shadows from the past? One example is the attitude of 'western educated' and 'liberal' (so-called) High-caste Hindus, towards their fellow orthodox and towards their tradition. Their guilt-obsession turns into an astonishing rage at their own past and exaggerates and reads into it what sometimes is even unlikely! Or continue peddling opinions framed by colonial propagandists about ill-treatment of the 'lower' castes without any independent investigation of their own. Take an article such as this recent piece from BBC. A telling excerpt:

And Phool Kumari belongs to that group of nearly 240m Indians who have been traditionally kept out of the Hindu caste system.

Mostly considered unworthy of touch by the higher castes, some even consider their shadow to be polluting.

Now caste oppression today, or for some centuries is undeniable in various places in India. But was it so universal and widespread that it was a 'tradition' of the Hindu caste system? Since when did the 'polluting shadow' idea become tradition? The tone of the sentence seems to imply that actually this is even the present-day position - is this true?

A more objective and careful analysis of the history of past sevaral centuries will show the unbelievable flexibility and variety in the 'Hindu caste system'. So also will the phenomenon of unsettled tribes continually settling down and adding new jatis to the caste structure- first arriving at an uneasy contract as the 'outsider' and slowly working the way up the social hierarchy through gradual mutual understanding. The fact that anthropologists and geneticists find it difficult to draw the line between the so-called 'lower' end of the caste structure and unsettled tribes- showing up a seamless contuinity in the level of settlement and acclimatization with the caste system of the settled castes and leading to gradual 'sanskritization' is proof enough of this. Fact is, Muslim and British incursions heavily disrupted this gradual diffusion and assimilation of settled and unsettled castes and tribes- leading to mutual suspicions and thus to the modern anathema to the 'outsider', recently settled tribes jostling for a place under the already colourful banner of the ancient caste order.

All this just shows how breathtakingly complex the phenomenon of caste is, in India. But writers such as those of the piece I quoted above show utter insenstivity to this compexity and typically indulge in mudslinging at the 'Hindu caste system'. But I have observed a pattern. Often, these liberal sounding pieces are penned by none other than western educated, self-alienated elites of the upper castes. Most extreme communists and extreme left-wingers in India who have nothing but rage for the Hindu society, are indeed drawn from the Hindu upper castes. It is their obsessive guilt that shows up as rage. As I said earlier, guilt is good. Upper-caste guilt at present social conditions can bring good, if it can lead to practical, constructive, wholesome steps to correct the problems. But a rambling, pointless agenda guided by rage against their own tradition can bring nothing but ultimate self-destruction. It is no surprise then, that such Hindus most often are 'all talk and no action'. Themselves alienated from even the many positives that their tradition can offer such as yoga and spirituality, ceaselessly attemtping de-nationalize themselves, demoralized, they often have no say in setting the course of the greater Hindu society, which too, just ignores them.

Thinking of this, I conclude, such excessive guilt is just the obverse of an oversized ego. 'Oh how could we have been so bad' is the driving thought. 'Because we are yet human and not divine' should be a straightforward answer from a less egoistic psyche, 'accepting our mistakes, acknowledging our humanity, we draw closer to the ideals of humanism and set the course aright' would be the logical conclusion. Not the idea of 'perpetual refusal to accept or to reconcile' and the logical desecnt into terminal cycle.

on the Incarnation

Oh through this frail human frame,
By the medium of this fallible form,
working with this flawed instrument,

how difficult it is, to grasp that
infinite intelligence, Love supreme
Love unbounded, Itself manifests!

Or, is the incorrigible ignobleness
of human nature, its base reading-
forcefully convincing to this extent?

twenty-fifty format!

this is hilarious:

BCCI moots new 'Twenty-Fifty' format for cricket

excerpt:

In a moment of rare innovation, the Board of Control for Cricket in India has proposed a radical new format of the game that they claim will boost cricket's popularity to unprecedented levels.

Under the rules of the new format, christened 'Twenty-Fifty', or T50 cricket, The Indian team would get to bat fifty overs, and the opposition will get to bat 20 overs. Field restrictions would also follow the same method, with 15 overs of power play when the Indians bat, and six overs when the opposition bats.

the meaning of memorable dates

February 10 has been memorable to me- a day from those days of childhood when everthing seemed so happy and beautiful. Februrary in general brings to me memories of all the happy events that happened in this month- and somehow connect my psyche with that of the young teen of 90's. After witnessing many years of turmoil, the early 90's were days of stability for my family. Although the country wasnt particularly peaceful in those days- all things were on the boil: Mandal commission agiation, the Ayodhya movement, Punjab, Kashmir, financial crisis, naxalites close home...but there was some kind of a new light of hope, which later fully manifested in late 90's but was already manifested in the early years too- and I had somehow connected to it. The Deepavali and Sankranti festivals of this period are some of the most vividly remembered happy memories of my childhood. My poonal, 'griha pravesam' of our new house - those are the 2 events on 10 Feb that happened in the early 90's. Both somewhat linked perhaps- a new birth, a new home. And now February is also special to me since thats the month Sri Ramakrishna was born some 160 years ago (coming to that, actually this year its exactly 160 years).

But people change, the same events that brought happy memories once can also bring bitter ones too. Thats what I discovered over the weekend. Being away from home, I perhaps did not witness the pain and sadness with which that home of ours had to be sold off. My parents went through all that personally, it has come to become all that loss means to them. And so when I remined them of the special occasion that 10 Feb presented, I was surprised they have all but forgotten the day! This is gain, this is loss, a memory can bring both. What a contrast time makes!

But if somehow we can learn to overcome the pain which it later led to, and just remember all the happy things that a day once gave, that perhaps becomes like a soothing balm. Existence is infinite, our being is vast, we have covered our eyes and therefore the future seems invisible - this is what sages say. I mention here a profound idea I got from a memorable episode in the first season of Star Trek: Deep Space 9. Here Commander Sisko lands up in in a wormwhole and the custody of a special class of Aliens who exist at all points in time, but just one point in space. In understanding Sisko's use of words like 'past', 'death' etc the Aliens point out to Sisko that remarkably actually even he infact exists at all times! In that light, if we let ourselves to be constrained by sadness and deny our existence at one point of time, we get sorrow...

Bharat ratna for whom?

Does Vajpayee deserve a Bharat ratna? maybe- he presided over the rising confidence of India and Indians. But was it all his doing alone? No doubt his government did provide a great lot of impetus- his bold initiatives like the N-test brought India right into the centre of the international community. But was he any different from say Narasimha Rao? Had Rao had his way, he would taken India past the N-post. He had a sounder anti-terrorism policy: his policies weaned the Sikh community away from external supporters of separatism, his actions immediately after the Mumbai blasts were exemplary. His economic policies laid the seed for the boom later in the decade. So in many ways, what Vajpayee precipated was infact the brew that Rao had stoked, but which was stalled by a few years of inept 'third front' governments. The Vajpayee government did a very poor job at managing its Pakistan policy, as well as its Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Nepal policy- literally allowing the US and China to peddle their influence on our periphery! I would rate Rao many notches higher than Vajpayee, though Rao had none of the charisma of the latter.

Does Jyoti Basu deserve a Bharat ratna? I ask back 'are you joking?' What does Basu have to his credit apart from preserving over the ruination of such a prosperous and industralized state as WB? And filling WB with Bangladeshi infiltrators?

Does old Karuna deserve a Bharat ratna? again a good 'maybe'. Karuna deserves credit for steadying the ebullient and volatile ship Tamil nationalism, controlling it from drowning in separatist frenzy and directing it towards the path of reconciliation and development. He does have his many drawbacks and idisyncracies though. Although he has joined the mainstream of national politics, he has not faciliated a diaologue between the Tamils and the 'North'. Nor has he expanded the pan-Dravidian vision to faciliate a spirit of friendship between the Southern states. He has not managed to rationalize the promise of the Dravidian movement and realize a unified society - the legacy of the Dravidian movement today is the inexorable proloferation of so many caste-based outfits. Progress for Dalits is still distant. He hasnt shown a consistent Sri Lanka policy either- although that might still not be entirely of his doing, what can any one do with a mercurial personality like Prabaharan.

The only person currently being discussed, on whose behalf I will answer rather than pose the question: Kanshiram does deserve a Bharat ratna. Afterall in how many instances in the world do marginalized communities achieve social justice without 'slitting a single throat' ( see this rediff article)? His pupil and mentee Mayavati has shown the way forward for caste reconciliation in India. This man towers over all modern Hindu social reformers who in their bitterness dont think about long-term consequences of the politics of revenge.

The impersonal personal

'Sri Ramakrishna's Naren, Naren's Sri Ramakrishna' is the title of this lovely small booklet written by Swami Budhananda, the ideas in which captivate me, inspire me. This train of thoughts is written in inspiration from those ideas.

'This is a peculiarity which we have to understand — that our religion preaches an Impersonal Personal God' - this is one of the most memorable of the words that Swami Vivekananda spoke (in the talk titled 'The Sages of India' in Lectures from Colombo to Almora, Vol 3 of the Complete works of Swami Vivekananda)

Indeed, this is the peculiarity, or rather the difficulty in understanding, appreciating and applying the Truth that Hindu philosophy drives home quite convincingly and rationally. We arrive at this conclusion by rigorous analysis- and that is the difficulty- how do we apply it? Because our everyday experience is mostly carried out on the personal level. This world is a personal world to which the person who denies the 'I' and the 'mine' is a person who is non-existent. But reaching that conclusion, we still have to live here. Impersonal though we are, our personal lives cannot be given up.

This is where I think the great avatAras provide such a great guidance. Their lives are spent on the border between the personal and the impersonal. The greatest of the avatAras I have had the chance or rather the blessing to study, the avatAra-varishTa, rAmakRShna, infact coined an entirely new term , bhavamukha for this borderline existence, and was the exemplar of it. This moment he lived in that all-pervading consciousness, spraying flowers around in every direction, worshipping 'Mother you are everywhere', feeding the cat with the offerings meant for Mother Kali, laughing at a butterfly 'O Rama now you have injured yourself' and the next, he lived in this world, breaking his arm, weeping for the suffering of fellow man, worrying about the welfare of unrelated men. This moment He would be lost in 'samadhi' and the next, he would go uninvited into the homes of unacquainted men to convey to them, The Divine Mother's love.

This is the discontent that stalks the heart. Is it enough to know that the Truth, the absolute consciousness, witnesses our every act amd hears our every prayer? Is it enough to know that It is bliss absolute? This entire universe is projected by its Power - it does not seem irrational that it also projects its essence - to answer that discontent in man's heart, the discontent of a personality for a personal response from the Truth. That the Self is always with us, that It is the source of the greatest strength amidst the strongest of adversities, is a definite conclusion of analysis. Yet until that is firmly ascertained by a personal grasp of the 'I am'ness or maybe who knows, even after that, the heart longs after a personal assurance of abhaya.

that abhaya this avatAra conveys personally, knocking at the door, saying 'Girish, it is me'. This Girish is the personality, the personality which has torn itself away from its impersonal soil, which goes about like a ghost from life to life, trying to taste the sweetness of nectar in one ditch after another. Himself established in the many-splendoured grandeur of Truth, the impersonal-personal God, the avatAra conveys to the 'beings', the 'becoming' of his bliss-nature. Bliss is the nature of Truth. Its becoming is the fear-destroying love. In this love, there is pure bliss, pure joy. This I think is what the avatAra conveys. and brings back the prodigal sons and daughters, the personalities wrenched away from their Self, by the power of tidal waves of this love.

I shut the door of my house and was ringing the bell
in my prayer room; I was shouting and screaming
and was singing as well, in my prayer room;
Without lighting the lamp of longing, I shut the door
to my prayer room, and was my animal self again
undoing what I sought, in my prayer room;
so continued life: one out, another inside, I wept
in my prayer room. And what do I discover, Master,
You are standing outside my house waiting for me
to open the door! You sought me and not I, You!
what more do I want, my Master? I fling everything,
everything, everything away - and ask you this:
just make me your own, your own, your very own!

philosophical knots

admittedly, as Swami Vivekananda says in one of his lectures on jnana yoga, all philosophical systems are ultimately mental constructions and thus every system will have its limitations. to use one of Ram Swarups expressions, some of these systems (shall I say those which are more theologies or opinions rather than philosophies), even appear to be contradictory and revolting to man's higher or larger synthetic reason. but even among systems that do appeal to this inner reason, there is room for difference and confusion.

for me personally, and perhaps many of the modern students of the Hindu philosophy who are self-schooled in the texts of its different sects, this is a big problem. I have always found the logic of Advaita Vedanta quite complelling and appealing. But I have often had difficulty reconciling its ultimate conclusions with other reasonable ones. For example, if ultimately the Truth is pure consciousness, it would appear as being a passive witness. But then where do the objects it witnesses come from? So it seems reasonable that the ultimate Truth is rather a pure consciousness+power. A sort of playful power should inhere in it. But this was my conjecture- the Advaita vedanta schools that are current would rather describe this phenomenon as the mysterious and unexplainable Maya which both exists and doesnt exist within Brahman.

Being devoted to Ramakrishna however, I would accept that beyond these conceptions, Brahman and Sakti or power, are one and the same, rather like fire and its burning power. Also as Sri Aurobindo explained, this sort of dual power, of being the witness as well as the projector, is of the very nature of the ultimate and this cannot be understood by the ordinary mind. He calls it consciousness-force. I just called it Advaita Ishwara-vada (or Ishwari-vada maybe ?) and was content at accepting it that way. So I thought, that should be left to experience.

It seems however, that this position which appeals to me, that of 'Sat-ChitShakti-Ananda' as the ultimate triurne, rather than just 'Sat-Chit-Ananda' is that of tantra too. More significantly it is also that of Tripura Rahasya, a text held highly by one of modern day Advaita greats, Ramana maharshi. I have had occasion to read from this beautiful text and it has captivated me.

Here is an article which elucidates this Tantric position and compares it with that of modern Advaita Vedanta. An excerpt:

To the Vedantist the world appears as such to the ignorant owing to his ignorance and in the last analysis it is resolved into Maya which is not identical with Brahman and is material; but to a Tantrist the world is real and is expression of the Chit Sakti or Free Will of the Lord and is really spiritual in essence like the Lord Himself. In the last resort it turns back into the Chit Sakti which is never withdrawn, for the Will (svAtantrya) remains, even after the world has disappeared. The Vedanta system has had to fall back on the doctrine of Vivarta, because it denies in a sense svAtantrya to Pure Chaitanya.

what an edit!!

The Telegraph shos the way on how Mushy should be treated.

the reaction speaks for itself:

"The language used for the President of Pakistan in your leading article ("Bankrupt relationship", November 9) is offensive and flouts the norms of decent journalism.

"For a newspaper of The Daily Telegraph's reputation to resort to such derogatory language is highly regrettable. This deserves an apology."

btw..first post since inching closer to the change of title me been working for so long..

Tamil nationalism and Hinduism

Slowly, with the great freedom of expression and availability of impartial views due to the internet, Tamil nationalists are exorcising their difficult ghosts:

execrpt from 'Hinduism and Tamil Nationalism' by Thanjai Nalankili:

There is a false impression among some Tamil people that Tamil nationalism is opposed to Hinduism. This is far from the truth. Hinduism and Tamil nationalism are not opposing or contradictory philosophies. A Tamil nationalist can be a pious Hindu (or a Muslim or a Christian or a Buddhist or an atheist or of whatever religious belief).

The false impression that Hinduism and Tamil nationalism are opposed to each other is prevalent only in Tamil Nadu; it is never felt in Tamil Eelam. There is a historic reason for it. In the 1940s and 1950s, it was the Dravidar Kazhagam (DK) and Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam (DMK) that were at the forefront of Tamil nationalism. These two parties, especially the Dravidar Kazhagam and its leader Periyar E. V. Ramaswamy (EVR), were opposed to Hinduism. They often preached anti-Hinduism and Tamil nationalism in the same speech. So people came to think of anti-Hinduism and Tamil nationalism as two sides of the same philosophy. That is far from the truth. Although Dravidar Kazagam propagated the two distinct and different ideas of anti-Hinduism and Tamil nationalism from the same platform, they need not have to go hand in hand. A good Hindu can be a good Tamil nationalist (so can a Muslim or one of any religious belief or disbelief)

what a change time makes!!

Yamayana

yes, thats how Ramayana is called in Myanma (or Burma!)

excerts from a very nice article from 'Ramayana in Myanmar's heart':

Just as the Illiad and the Odyssey, the two epic poems of the ancient Greek poet Homer laid the foundation of Western literature and contributed much to the hellenization of Europe, Ramayana and Mahabharata the two ancient Sanskrit epics of India exerted a profound impact upon the cultures of South East Asia and have played no small role in the indianisation of the major portion of that region. Out of ASEAN TEN at least seven nations Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Malaysia, Brunei and Indonesia have received the influence of Hindu culture since the early days of Indian colonisation.

Though the themes of both epics are the eulogization of moral and physical courage of gallant warrior heros, Mahabharata deals mostly with the principles of moral conduct whereas Ramayana records the bold exploits and love affair of a hero prince Rama. Besides battles in the Mahabharata were fought between men and men but in the Ramayana war was fought between men and monkeys on one side and ogres (demons) on the other. The two also differ in the location of their origin. The Mahabharata originated in Northern India. The ancient kingdom of Kausala located to the northeast of the Ganges River was the birthplace of the Ramayana epic. The Mahabharata was a combined work of many authors. Ramayana was the brain child of one writer and he was a Rishi (Hermit) named Valmiki. It is not surprising that Ramayana is more appealing in terms of entertainment than Mahabharata.

When and how Ramayana came to take pride of place in Myanmar's heart is one of academic debate. But the oral tradition of the Rama story can be traced as far back as the reign of King Anawrahta(A.D.1044-77 ) the founder of the first Myanmar Empire. In later periods there are ample archaeological, historical and literary evidence to show that Ramayana entered into Myanmar culture at an early date. At old Bagan is a Vishnu Temple known as Nat Hlaung Kyaung which is adorned with some stone figures of Rama and Parasu Rama. The Rama story is depicted in the Jataka series of terra-cotta plaques on the panels of Petlcik Pagoda in Bagan.

In a stone inscription in the Mon language, King Kyanzittha ( A.D.1084-1113 ) of Bagan dynasty proclaimed that in his previous existence he was a close relative of Rama of Ayodhya. So we may say that the Rama tradition had been established in Myanmar culture since the Bagan period. Rama has been continuously present in the cultures of the post-Bagan periods. In all media of visual arts and all forms of literary art, Ramayana was the favourite theme. Contacts with neighbouring countries with Hindu cultural influence such as Linzin(Laos), Zimme(Chiengmei), Ayuthia(Thailand) and Malayu(Malasia) further contributed to the development of Ramayana as the popular theme in Myanmar performing arts.

some humour for the morning: apparently our Mu Ka writes in Murasoli:

..the DMK had neither tried to impose its ideologies on others nor had it allowed others to impose theirs on it.

However, he is there no objections to projects across rivers like Krishna and Brahmaputra, which are also named after gods. But attempts were being made to scuttle the Sethusamudram project in the name of Ram Setu, he added

I laughed my head out at what kind of people (ignorant? arrogant? what words shall we use..) we are dealing with.

How many births have you not done hard and painful labour with body, mind, and speech. Now at last, stop!

Enough of wealth, sensuality, and good deeds. In the forest of samsara the mind has never found satisfaction in these

Kingdoms, children, wives, bodies, pleasures -- these have all been lost to you life after life, attached to them though you were.

-verses 8-6, Ch X, Ashtavakra Gita

some verses from Ch 1 of the same text:

You do not belong to the brahmin or any other caste, you are not at any stage, nor are you anything that the eye can see. You are unattached and formless, the witness of everything - so be happy.

Just as a mirror exists everywhere both within and apart from its reflected images, so the Supreme Lord exists everywhere within and apart from this body.

Just as one and the same all-pervading space exists within and without a jar, so the eternal, everlasting God exists in the totality of things.

I found this remarkable sentence this morning, on a carnatic music page featuring some rare rasamaya songs:

"It will be well when every Indian, instead of taking a wax-like stamp from his foreign surroundings, is able to carry India with him wherever he goes. For that will mean that India is destined to conquer and place her stamp upon the whole world"

when I turned to see who wrote those potent lines, it was none other than Sri Aurobindo [p 79, India's rebirth, its online here]. well and it all seems to be coming true today.

and as Sri Aurobindo spoke in his deeply profound Uttarpara speech:

...Something has been shown to you in this year of seclusion, something about which you had your doubts and it is the truth of the Hindu religion. It is this religion that I am raising up before the world, it is this that I have perfected and developed through the Rishis, saints and Avatars, and now it is going forth to do my work among the nations. I am raising up this nation to send forth my word.... When therefore it is said that India shall rise, it is the Sanatan Dharma that shall rise. When it is said that India shall be great, it is the Sanatan Dharma that shall be great. When it is said that India shall expand and extend herself, it is the Sanatan Dharma that shall expand and extend itself over the world. It is for the Dharma and by the Dharma that India exists...

...But what is the Hindu religion? What is this religion which we call Sanatan, eternal? It is the Hindu religion only because the Hindu nation has kept it, because in this Peninsula it grew up in the seclusion of the sea and the Himalayas, because in this sacred and ancient land it was given as a charge to the Aryan race to preserve through the ages.But it is not circumscribed by the confines of a single country, it does not belong peculiarly and for ever to a bounded part of the world. That which we call the Hindu religion is really the eternal religion, because it is the universal religion which embraces all others. If a religion is not universal, it cannot be eternal. A narrow religion, a sectarian religion, an exclusive religion can live only for a limited time and a limited purpose. This is the one religion that can triumph over materialism by including and anticipating the discoveries of science and the speculations of philosophy. It is the one religion which impresses on mankind the closeness of God to us and embraces in its compass all the possible means by which man can approach God. It is the one religion which insists every moment on the truth which all religions acknowledge that He is in all men and all things and that in Him we move and have our being. It is the one religion which enables us not only to understand and believe this truth but to realise it with every part of our being. It is the one religion which shows the world what the world is, that it is the Lila of Vasudeva. It is the one religion which shows us how we can best play our part in that Lila, its subtlest laws and its noblest rules. It is the one religion which does not separate life in any smallest detail from religion, which knows what immortality is and has utterly removed from us the reality of death...

...I said [last year] that this movement is not a political movement and that nationalism is not politics but a religion, a creed, a faith. I say it again today, but I put it in another way. I say that it is the Sanatan Dharma which for us is nationalism. This Hindu nation was born with the Sanatan Dharma, with it it moves and with it it grows. When the Sanatan Dharma declines, then the nation declines, and if the Sanatan Dharma were capable of perishing, with the Sanatan Dharma it would perish. The Sanatan Dharma, that is nationalism. This is the message that I have to speak to you.

these are some of the most inspired of the writings I have read in the English language..

Swamiji on Rishihood and the Veda

I have decided that every day when my mind itches to read up something crawling through the internet, I will read something from Swami Vivekananda's Lectures. This morning I was reading from the last talk in '..Colombo to Almora', delivered at Dhaka in 1901. Here's a beautiful excerpt:

Who are these Rishis? Vâtsyâyana says, "He who has attained through proper means the direct realisation of Dharma, he alone can be a Rishi even if he is a Mlechchha by birth." Thus it is that in ancient times, Vasishtha, born of an illegitimate union, Vyâsa, the son of a fisherwoman, Narada, the son of a maidservant with uncertain parentage, and many others of like nature attained to Rishihood. Truly speaking, it comes to this then, that no distinction should be made with one who has realised the Truth. If the persons just named all became Rishis, then, O ye Kulin Brahmins of the present day, how much greater Rishis you can become! Strive after that Rishihood, stop not till you have attained the goal, and the whole world will of itself bow at your feet! Be a Rishi — that is the secret of power.

This Veda is our only authority, and everyone has the right to it.

"That I to all the people may address this salutary speech,
To priest and nobleman, Sûdra and Arya, to one of our own
kin and to the stranger" [I have taken the translation from Griffith]

— Thus says the Shukla Yajur Veda (XXVI. 2). Can you show any authority from this Veda of ours that everyone has not the right to it? The Purânas, no doubt, say that a certain caste has the right to such and such a recension of the Vedas, or a certain caste has no right to study them, or that this portion of the Vedas is for the Satya Yuga and that portion is for the Kali Yuga. But, mark you, the Veda does not say so; it is only your Puranas that do so. But can the servant dictate to the master? The Smritis, Puranas, Tantras — all these are acceptable only so far as they agree with the Vedas; and wherever they are contradictory, they are to be rejected as unreliable. But nowadays we have put the Puranas on even a higher pedestal than the Vedas! The study of the Vedas has almost disappeared from Bengal. How I wish that day will soon come when in every home the Veda will be worshipped together with Shâlagrâma, the household Deity, when the young, the old, and the women will inaugurate the worship of the Veda!

Swamiji's plan

I randomly googled up 'Future of India' as I was eating my lunch, wanting to see what turns up. And this lecture of Swami Vivekananda of that same title, given in Madras so many summers ago came up! Reading it, those beautiful old memories of the times at Madras sprang up, of the times when I'd cut classes, lie down on my bare cot and read his 'Lectures from Colombo to Almora' and dream... This is an extract from that talk, summing up Swamiji's plan:

Education is not the amount of information that is put into your brain and runs riot there, undigested, all your life. We must have life-building, man-making, character-making assimilation of ideas. If you have assimilated five ideas and made them your life and character, you have more education than any man who has got by heart a whole library. "The ass carrying its load of sandalwood knows only the weight and not the value of the sandalwood." If education is identical with information, the libraries are the greatest sages in the world, and encyclopaedias are the Rishis.

The ideal, therefore, is that we must have the whole education of our country, spiritual and secular, in our own hands, and it must be on national lines, through national methods as far as practical.

Of course this is a very big scheme, a very big plan. I do not know whether it will ever work out. But we must begin the work. But how? Take Madras, for instance. We must have a temple, for with Hindus religion must come first. Then, you may say, all sects will quarrel about it. But we will make it a non-sectarian temple, having only "Om" as the symbol, the greatest symbol of any sect. If there is any sect here which believes that "Om" ought not to be the symbol, it has not right to call itself Hindu. All will have the right to interpret Hinduism, each one according to his own sect ideas, but we must have a common temple. You can have your own images and symbols in other places, but do not quarrel here with those who differ from you. Here should be taught the common grounds of our different sects, and at the same time the different sects should have perfect liberty to come and teach their doctrines, with only one restriction, that is, not to quarrel with other sects. Say what you have to say, the world wants it; but the world has no time to hear what you think about other people; you can keep that to yourselves.

Secondly, in connection with this temple there should be an institution to train teachers who must go about preaching religion and giving secular education to our people; they must carry both. As we have been already carrying religion from door to door, let us along with it carry secular education also. That can be easily done. Then the work will extend through these bands of teachers and preachers, and gradually we shall have similar temples in other places, until we have covered the whole of India.

That is my plan. It may appear gigantic, but it is much needed. You may ask, where is the money. Money is not needed. Money is nothing. For the last twelve years of my life, I did not know where the next meal would come from; but money and everything else I want must come, because they are my slaves, and not I theirs; money and everything else must come. Must--that is the word. Where are the men? That is the question. Young men of Madras, my hope is in you. Will you respond to the call of your nation? Each one of you has a glorious future if you dare believe me. Have a tremendous faith in yourselves, like the faith I had when I was a child, and which I am working out now. Have that faith, each one of you, in yourself--that eternal power is lodged in every soul--and you will revive the whole of India. Ay, we will then go to every country underthe sun, and our ideas will before long be a component of the many forces that are working to make up every nation in the world. We must enter into the life of every race in India and abroad; we shall have to work to bring this about. Now for that, I want young men.

fond memories, egging me on for the dawn of the day when this plan will be worked out and poor Malik can offer some gravel in constructing that bridge like that humble squirrel of Ramayana.

for now the Sharif-return affair seems to have ended tamely. in the humdrum world of Pakistani politics perhaps its too much to expect anything more than that!!

A daring Nawaz Sharif has returned to Pakistan despite not knowing what might happen to him. He has taken Busharraf head on. I'm impressed.

Whatever people may call him- opportunist, maniuplative etc, he's had the guts to face up to the all poweful Pakistan army. He's judged the heart of the Pakistani people and I think this will be the beginning new era for that country: one of rule of law, democracy and civil society.

Suddenly, the dull and uninteresting Pakistani politics filled with heartless, conscience-less people willing to fall on thier knees has lighted up.Heady days ahead.

Prayers

Prayers for the people consumed by the latest in the dance of destruction of the asuras tormeting the soul of India. Prayers also to the family members who must recover and continue with life.

It was a feeling of hurt that hung on in the depths yesterday. Malik Hyderabadi feels for Hyderabad..Until people with hearts assume the role of the country's intelligentsia, prayers also that the conscience of the present breed of corrupt intellectuals be awakened atleast a bit by all this suffering..is that too much to ask?

The arc of democracy

Excerpt from B Raman's latest on the 'quid-pro-quo' for the N-deal


17. Since the visit of Dr. Manmohan Singh, the Indian Prime Minister, to the US in July, 2005, there has been concern not only in China, but also in military circles in Myanmar that as a quid pro quo for the USA's civilian nuclear co-operation with India, the latter has agreed to help the US in its Pax Democratica initiative in Asia. These concerns were strengthened by the following observations of President Bush in his address at a restricted public meeting at Purana Qila in Delhi on March 3, 2006: "The world has benefited from the example of India's democracy, and now the world needs India's leadership in freedom's cause. As a global power, India has an historic duty to support democracy around the world......India is also showing its leadership in the cause of democracy by co-founding the Global Democracy Initiative. Prime Minister Singh and I were proud to be the first two contributors to this initiative to promote democracy and development across the world. Now India can build on this commitment by working directly with nations where democracy is just beginning to emerge. As the world's young democracies take shape, India offers a compelling example of how to preserve a country's unique culture and history while guaranteeing the universal freedoms that are the foundation of genuine democracies. India's leadership is needed in a world that is hungry for freedom. Men and women from North Korea to Burma to Syria to Zimbabwe to Cuba yearn for their liberty. In Iran, a proud people is held hostage by a small clerical elite that denies basic liberties, sponsors terrorism, and pursues nuclear weapons. Our nations must not pretend that the people of these countries prefer their own enslavement. We must stand with reformers and dissidents and civil society organizations, and hasten the day when the people of these nations can determine their own future and choose their own leaders. These people may not gain their liberty overnight, but history is on their side."

hmmm...isnt that a honourable vision to work for? why is the Manmohan Singh Govt so silent about these explosive and revolutionary consequences of the 'quid-pro-quo' for India's role around the world? afterall isnt this vision much more truer to India's founding values than morbid transnational pan-communism which in fact exchanges a native nationalism with that of a big brother say Russia's or China's? instead of cowering down before the skewed revolutionary vision of leftists, why doesnt the Congress go to the young people of India with this alternative vision of a democratically empowered world?

What are the Chinese crying foul about? as long as they were exporting their ideologies to India and encircling India, encouraging insurgencies in India, it was fine. As soon as Indians realize the power of their own ideology- that of a democratic free society which honours many cultures as part of one national strand- they see red and have egged their Indian stooges on. huh?

Vande Mataram!

First post after exactly 3 months! What a happy coincidence that I get to record my thoughts on India's 60th Independence Day.

I have been a mute witness to this years independence celebrations, sitting in far away UK. Lost in my work, trying to finish up, I have been catching murmurs of happenings back home through TV channels telecated on the internet and from the buzz in the UK media. India is everywhere these days- our democracy, our industry, our culture, our spirituality are the headlines. It feels nice, to experience this new tilt of the world's attention towards our worldview. What in the 90's, appeared so clear to us, almost commonsense, was not accepted by the world- our perspectives were scorn-worthy by default, be it on nation, society, religion or culture. We were just another poor and destitute people trying assert our views almost only to balance our immense inferiority complex. All that has changed today. It also feels proud that we are finally attempting to live up to the dream we held up in '47, finally walking on our 'tryst with destiny'. We always knew India is special- it has been since ages- but with all her potential slumbering, and the great flames of the fire that She was reduced to mere embers smothering faint behind ashes, it was hard to accept and convince others, even more so. But today its different: a vibrant, rejuvenated India is there for all to see. The glory is already foreshadowed.

So this morning I settled for a minds-eye flaghoisting with the anthem playing in the bakground on my laptop. That was it for this 60th year eve for me. But 10 years ago in 1997, I was a direct participant to the 50th year celebrations, which were widespread and left a profound impression on me. Waves of joy erupted recounting what the freedom fighters had done to achieve Swaraj (a word much richer in meaning than 'self-rule'). At that time, I had little acquaintance with the spiritual side of the struggle, the men who heraled that movement and what inspired them. And at that time, the under-achieving, under-performing and often neglected giant of a nation was hardly the denouement that the founders of the nation would have dreamed to happen 50 years on.

Since then, as India marched on breaking Her shackles one by one, I too have made a personal journey to the source of the national river and back. Today, with the thirst of the soul satisfied by those refreshing waters, life moves on, towards that goal which inspired this nation from millennia and which I sighted at that source. Now I can see a bit more clearly, what Swami Vivekananda spoke in the 1890's about 'the ancient mother rejuvenated and seated on Her trhone'. Now I can see that the heralding of the free India falling on the birth day of the spiritual savant Sri Aurbindo was perhaps no coincidence. This is the task and the goal for the next 60 years- undoing the legacy of colonialism and defeat on the Indian mind, so that the knowldege this nation held so dearly in Her bosom over millennia, even if only in Her chest when She cowered in an outwardly abject half-sleep during Her slavery, might spread forth once again and help mankind on its onward march.

The past week and Hindutva

The last week was an eventful week- it brought into sharp focus, two ideas which Hindutva has been championing. It brought them out in different ways though. Mayawati won UP elections on a plank of sarva-jan samaj instead of just the bahujan samaj. The media which so likes to display its stupidity, they celeberated it, when they loathe the same phenomenon if championed by the BJP but beyond all that, something happened- an important even in Hindu social history. As Arun noted, here was the first time when jati unity has been attempted at the promtpings of the dalits instead of the other way around. Doesnt happen unless the Hindu jatis have begun to understand that ultimately social cohesion alone paves the way forward and not tension and hatred.

Then, it was the anniversary of Pokhran blasts on the same day - May 11th. that was a seminal event in bringing India out of the isolation of outdated socialist ethos into the select group of major world powers. that too was a BJP achievement. media lampooned them for it then too- and today when their darling Congress is embracing the fruits of that through the 'n-deal', they are all with them.

So whether BJP directly achieved all this or not, it is definitely triumph of the Hindutva ideas - the fact that others are willing to take their ideas up shows that their ideas are not backward or irrelvant but infact inevitable.

That said, the Savarkarites (and Golwalkarites) have a lot of thinking to do. Why do they always snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory? Why are they so pessimistic oftentimes? Why do they become channels of violence of a crude kind to manifest? They also need to study their goals again. Hindu nationalism is not about world-domination or even an exclusivist Hindu nation. It is about removing the ills and fending the challenges facing the Hindu society, so that those values which are special to it can be put forward before mankind. That this apparently solid world around us is as much a projection of the waking mind as it is of the dream mind - which are the same- and that this mind itself is the universal mind, that hidden in the recesses of its perception, is that immortal Self, the sole witness, that this witness is one in this manifold appearance, this is the message of Hinduism. Not caste, not exclusion, not superstition, not elaborate ritual.

So if the events of the last week appear like defeat to Savarkarites, the clear message to them is 'go back to school'.

'Invitation' by Sri Aurobindo

This is a poem by Sri Aurobindo written when he was in Alipore jail (~1909). It expresses a deep sentiment- one that comes to a great leader of men - at the start of a vaster struggle, a higher ascent, who will come with him? To tread on a journey to a height from which the struggles and the differences and the dissinant noises of the plains below pale away, but the path is one of daring and courage...

Invitation

With wind and the weather beating round me
Up to the hill and the moorland I go.
Who will come with me? Who will climb with me?
Wade through the brook and tramp through the snow?

Not in the petty circle of cities
Cramped by your doors and your walls I dwell;
Over me God is blue in the welkin,
Against me the wind and the storm rebel.

I sport with solitude here in my regions,
Of misadventure have made me a friend.
Who would live largely? Who would live freely?
Here to the wind-swept uplands ascend.

I am the Lord of tempest and mountain,
I am the Spirit of freedom and pride.
Stark must he be and a kinsman to danger
Who shares my kingdom and walks at my side.

'Ascent' by Sri Aurobindo

1 - The Silence

Into the Silence, into the Silence,
Arise, O Spirit immortal,
Away from the turning Wheel, breaking the magical Circle.
Ascend, single and deathless:
Care no more for the whispers and the shoutings in the darkness,
Pass from the sphere of the grey and the little,
Leaving the cry and the struggle,
Into the Silence for ever.

Vast and immobile, formless and marvellous,
Higher than Heaven, wider than the universe,
In a pure glory of being,
In a bright stillness of self-seeing,
Communing with a boundlessness voiceless and intimate,
Make thy knowledge too high for thought, thy joy too deep for emotion;
At rest in the unchanging Light, mute with the wordless self-vision,
Spirit, pass out of thyself; Soul, escape from the clutch of Nature.
All thou hast seen cast from thee, O Witness.
Turn to the Alone and the Absolute, turn to the Eternal:
Be only eternity, peace and silence,
world-transcending nameless Oneness,
Spirit immortal.


2 - Beyond the Silence

Out from the Silence, out from the Silence,
Carrying with thee the ineffable Substance,
Carrying with thee the splendour and wideness,
Ascend, O Spirit immortal.
Assigning to Time its endless meaning,
Blissful enter into the clasp of the Timeless.
Awake in the living Eternal, taken to the bosom of love of the Infinite,
Live self-found in his endless completeness,
Thy heart close to the heart of the Godhead for ever.

Vast, God-possesseing, embraced by the Wonderful,
Lifted by the All-Beautiful into his infinite beauty,
Love shall envelop thee endless and fathomless,
Joy unimaginable, Ecstasy illimitable,
Knowledge omnipotent, Might omniscient,
Light without darkness, Truth that is dateless.
One with the Transcendent, calm, universal,
Single and free, yet innumerably living,
All in thyself and thyself in all dwelling,
Act in the world with thy being beyond it.
Soul, exceed life's boundaries; Spirit, surpass the universe.
Outclimbing the summits of Nature,
Transcending and uplifting the soul of the finite,
Rise with the world in thy bosom,
O Word gathered into the heart of the Ineffable.
One with the Eternal, live in his infinity,
Drowned in the Absolute, found in the Godhead,
Swan of the supreme and spaceless ether wandering winged through the universe,
Spirit immortal.


more at Poet-seers

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This kIrtana by annamAchArya has got to be one of his sweetest!

Jagadapu Chanavula...

I cannot thank sirIsha gAru enough for pointing me out to the blog archive of annamayya's kIrtanas by dn sravan..what a resource!

Here are the lyrics for this particular one:

జగడపు చనువుల జాజర, సగినల మంచపు జాజర

మొల్లలు తురుముల ముడిచిన బరువున, మొల్లపు సరసపు మురిపెమున
జల్లన పుప్పొడి జారగ పతిపై చల్లే పతిపై, చల్లే రతివలు జాజర

భారపు కుచముల పైపై కడు సింగారము నెరపేటి గంధవొడి
చేరువ పతిపై చిందగ పడతులు, సారెకు చల్లేరు జాజర

బింకపు కూటమి పెనగేటి చెమటల, పంకపు పూతల పరిమళము
వేంకటపతిపై వెలదులు నించేరు, సంకుమ దంబుల జాజర

JagaDapu tsanavula jAjara
Saginala mantsapu jAjara

The festival of squabbling intimacy
The festival of decorated bedsteads.

mOllai turumula muDicina baruvuna
mOllapu sarasEpu muripEmuna
tsallana puppODi jAgarapatipai
tsallErativalu jAjara

With their coifs heavy with decked flowers, with affectionate dalliance, the women sprayed pollen all a tingling on Venkateswara.

bhArapu kucamula paipai kaDu sim-
gAramu nErapEdi gandhavODi
cEruvapatipai cindagapaDatulu
tsArElu jallEru jAjara

With their heavy breasts all decorated with sandal powder, the maidens sprinkled coloured powder on Venkateswara who was near them.


bEnkapu kUTani pEnagETi camatala
pankapu pUtala parimaLamu
vEnkaTapatipai vEladulunincEru
sanku madambula jAjara

As their ardent love making resulted in perfumed perspiration, the womenfolk daubed javvAji ( a perfume) on Venkateswara.

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another of those gems by annamayya: chAladA brahmamidi sankIrtanam!

Chaalada Brahmamid...

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I found this beautiful thing today: annamAcharya's bhAvamulOna sung by MS!

Bhavamulona Bahyam...

Choices

I knew not who Uncle Moon was, Krishna, when I was a child:
His was a soothing presence refreshing by His very sight and I loved Him.
I do not want to know who you are, Krishna, or what or how much you are:
A twink grips my heart with pain, I wish not to miss seeing you for a moment

And what a prankster you are, Krishna! Is it not enough, the grief,
being away from you during the chores? What need to burn the heart
this way by playing on your flute? My emotions have dried up, mirth
there is none in anything, I just wish to be lost in your bewitching smile

Like the Sun's impish smile on a winter day only to disappear behind
gloomy clouds again, you come, you charm and then vanish, leaving us
to our fates in your joyless absence? You have no choices now, either
Withdraw this ghoulish world of yours or lift the veil in the heart

more of this later:

Through the rough, through the tumble,
Through the pleasant and the repulsive,
Through the music and the noise,
Through the varying shades of darkness,
I will persevere towards Light

Through the right, through the wrong,
Through opprobium and through censure,
Through the mild and the extreme,
Through the opposing poles of opinions,
I will persevere towards Truth

Sankraman, Sankranti!

this blog derives its name from the festival that fell today this year: Makara Sankranti!

The winter ends and Surya deva begins traversing the Uttarayana. A very auspicious time for spiritual aspirants, it signifies renewal of inner energies and is a joyous occasion to welcome a new light of wisdom in our life. I miss my favourite festival of childhood: miss the kite flying with friends, miss the Pongal, miss all that colour in life. Every year this time I just wish to see the reddish brown earth of Hyderabad. As the Sun soars high up on a January mid-day, a lone kite would bravely fly into the skies intent on claiming its place in the air and cast is shadow on the earth below. to behold that shadow on a Bhogi day, that is my wish, its a joy inexpressible here.

Religion vs Spirituality

Religion is a certain way of life arising out of a certain set of views about man and the universe. It is something following from conclusions reached in regard to the nature of life. Since it is secondary in this way, as such, religions will tend to be non-inclusive and rigid. A certain way of life when formulated, will contribute to an identity, in the face of contending ways and mores. Ofcourse depending upon the starting direction and evolution of such ideas and practices, religions tend to be more or less aggressive and missionary. So some religions will be overtly competitive, but most religions are competitive at some level, in that they appeal to men and draw them to their practice in some way or the other.

Now what is primary, is the actual process of reasoning and the methodology in reaching those conclusions regarding life. This is spirituality, the very basis of religions. But because methodologies can always be refined, based either on more persuasive reasoning or on definitive experience, spirituality cannot be rigid. Ultimately, if there is a fundamental Truth, then the different methods of reasoning must complement if not overlap each other or lead to one from another. With spirituality, there is thus always a promise of kinship, a hope for dialogue, and an oppotunity to expand. This has been the message of spiritual Hinduism for hundreds of years and more so in the last hundred years. Through a profound consideration of life, through an intense understanding of spirituality, religions can give up inhuman cut-throat competitiveness. This idea has percolated through to many Indic religions.

The essential problem of our times is the terrible way in which this understanding has been lost or undermined. Religion without spirituality or a way of life without insight into how it came about, is like going on a journey unaware of the goal. And spirituality without religion, might be useless, like being aware of the goal but roaming about aimlessly. The big tragedy of our world today is the way religious people have stopped enquiring into the spiritual values they seek to adhere to. In attending to the rigmarole of rigid do's and don'ts and defending these, they have forgotten to allot time to douse the fires of anger and other passions in their hearts for fellow life. So much blood is spilt today because religious people have forgotten the primary end, spirituality and confused the end with the means. People who merely claim spirituality dont help either, by mocking religions from the outside. It cannot be denied that religion, or life honed by spirituality remains an important impulse of humankind. Without active participation, nobody ever learns the pulse of any field, let alone solve the malaises afflciting it: religion is no different!

Recently the Pope has called for a dialogue of religions- specifically, Islam and Christianity. It is my considered view, tha there cannot be any dialogue among religions. But dialogue is possible among differerent streams of spirituality. Unfortunately, mainstream Christianity and Islam, by persecuting their mystics and alienating their spiritual side, probably do not have the capability of holding such a dialogue.

Its raining mildly and I can feel the drenched wind. The sky has gone pale grey and the trees have been bent. The smell of earth has filled the air all around. Oh that monsoon, beloved Indian monsoon, I'm reminded of! Flush with downpour, downpour almost of love from above, the feet would feel the roads, melting into soft clay and to walk would no more be the desire but to dance ance through that monsoon, beloved Indian monsoon. Music from a streetvenors shop would pulse gently tugging at the heart, adding rhythm to the rhythm of breeze and children's laughter. There and then, could time stop? Or maybe now, with that sweet memory!

wisdom

Joy, the joy of pure being, pure happpiness, is it a state of the mind? I think, it is more, a state of no-mind. When the mind- cogitation, reflection, judegement, ego, emotion, memory- stays resolved without jumbling one of its different states with the egoity, the natural joy of pure being shines forth. At that instant, it is timelessness of the 'now'. time is but a marker of change. change causes anxiety. in changeless pure being, in timelessless, it is all untainted joy. At every instant, if this state is attained, when mind rests as no-mind, the pure intelligence of the Divine can work unencumbered in the being. this is Yoga, this is wisdom and the great goal presented by Hinduism.

This is a lovely poem from Swami Vivekananda. His blessings!

A Blessing

The Mother's heart, the hero's will,
The softest flowers' sweetest feel;
The charm and force that ever sway
The altar-fire's flaming play;
The strength that leads, in love obeys;
Far-reaching dreams, and patient ways,
Eternal faith in Self, in all,
The light Divine in great, in small;
All these and more than I could see,
Today may "Mother" grant to thee!

This boring dull and humdrum life of mine
is my ouvre and achievement. This is what
I was born to produce. This is my poetry
and my high art.

If not for this, how will that active, riveting
interesting or engrossing life ever seem so?
They see a glowing, bright reflection
in waveless water.

while I will continue that short piece of literature on the journey through tranisitions the other day, a muse for today here.

Is life purposeless? Or does it have atleast some purpose, if not something deep, rich? Well, I reckon these days, maybe its all in the mind. If we look at this life with all its irrationalities, the day to day bursts of seemingly nonsensical chores, the hundred hatreds and angers and troubles and miseries that we must endure until we get to one bowl of nourishment to keep vision intact for the next dawn, it all seems meaningless. No meaning there is, to all this. What bloody purpose on earth has that dying young antelope serve, being chased and hunted cruelly down to death by a hungry lion? What purpose do all those almsot endless types of bacteria or fish for that matter serve, anything better than as food, for other bacteria and fish? Life, with its rich confluence of colours, seems one big meandering surge of nothingness to nothingness.

OK hang on, before you get the feeling that I'm going to say what other purpose does your life serve than as rich source of proteins to hungry bacteria waiting to devour them in your grave. All this is looking from only one angle, trying to bully the complexity of nature to bend and pass through the destructive lens of my oppressive straightjacket of a purpose. Otherwise, there are a hundred purposes to life. Sample just one. That primeval fish ancestor of all land animals which died to prey transmitted that necessity for adaptation to its other surviving relatives. The survivors from some of whom eventually used those survival lessons to ultimately end up walking on land. That same lesson the dying antelope too transmitted. The lessons learnt surviving in some remote jungle in Africa stood in good stead for the eventual wordwide march of that biped a descendent of whom is today typing away these lines. Each lesson that is deep enough to ensure a better life is being lodged deeper, being mastered, transmitted, onward, onward, onward. In the comfort of a preyless survival and the shade of a promise of a life, there is the cool breeze of happiness. In the smile of a young one raised in an atmosphere free from fear, in the happiness of a family, in the shared laughter of a village, there is joy. Extending this joy of being, maybe, is one purpose of life.

And others...? Muwwah, now I'm sleepy.

A shepherd's journey

I wandered through the desert all morning and forenoon. It felt like I had embraced the embrace of death, like I had wandered into a rain of fire. Up until far ahead all I could see was baked brown earth spread before me, with not a sign of life anywhere. I had set out from home early, to try and find a pasture. Drought had brought my land to a parched pitch-halt. The heat was sweltering and wind had as if entered into an evil collaboration with it. As it blew, it carried all its rage straight into our hearts. The little water left was enough for us to drink and keep selves and bodies together. In the four directions all around, there was nothing but dry broken earth left. The music of the wind raging through the day sounded like the song of death. Nights brought no cheer. Clouds too brought none, they just sneaked past our heads high up in the sky. Today I needed to find a pasture, if my cattle was to survive. So I left home, left early today. I had to find something before all of them died. They had already started dying, one by one. So I wandered on.

remember one thing, the chance to fight is the greatest victory for the warrior, the results are icing

- Srickant

Some inspirational words

Just as I was thinking along these lines, they occur in the interview a sportsman gave. This is a man I've admired for a while now, for all his calmness through achievements, a man who came back from failures, but all the time remaining gloriously controlled and dignified. This is the sort of character I like for a role model: a man with a drive for achievement, tempered with dignity, culture and composure. He brings an intensity into the game that is as focused on the goals as is measured. Well, the sport is cricket and I'm Indian, so no marks for guessing that its Rahul Dravid. Here's the quote I was talking about earlier, and its from this interview:

Q: Your cricket is characterised by intensity ... whether it's batting or captaincy. How do you manage to sustain that intensity over a long period?

RD: You have to enjoy playing. And you have to make sure you never forget that it's just a game. You have to love the game. I always think about how I began.

When I was a young kid I remember what it felt like to come back from school, throw the bags, quickly get something to eat and then get out to the street to play cricket. We played for two-three hours and how we enjoyed it. It was so much fun. Then there were the school nets and I couldn't wait to go out and play. I was so keen just to hear the bell ring so I could get out there and bat. That's something that never goes away.

Obviously when you're playing professionally for such a long period of time the pressures are different. You taste success, you face defeats, there are some lonely days on the road ...

but if you can always go back to the joy of why you began playing the game in the first place, then the intensity will automatically come whether you're playing your first game, the second or the hundredth.

Self-giving and self-discipline

I have often thought on the theme of self-giving and selfless patriotism, ever since I read Swami Vivekananda's views on patriotism some 7 years ago.

Swamiji's ideas, to me, for the first time, showed that patriotism could be an intense spiritual practice, and in the light of his ideas, patriotism could also raise us to a summit from where we could survey our own role in the larger context of human welfare.

But this greater idea of patriotism also means, we need to exert ourselves more to achieve it. Because it is easy to be patriotic in the sense of cheering one's national sports team or being passionately jingoistic about one's own national ideals. It is easy to even die for one's nation. But it is more difficult to mould oneself according to, and live for, a noble ideal.

If to be patriotic means to feel the suffering of fellowmen coursing through the veins every second, and work in that attitude, the idea enters the rarified realm of the sublime. In that realm, self-giving is the meaning of love. To love then means to suffuse oneself with the ideal. Then, life of the self is control of the self.

Ofcourse the more someone wants to conform to these ideals, the more he or she has to strive to manifest them. But if patriotism must lead to human welfare, it must be practiced in no less a light than this!

Bhajans and Ambulance Sirens

As the evening draws close, the temples in our Varanasi resonate with peace- the chimes of bells, evening Aratis, the aspiration of the human soul for the Divine all merge to create an atmosphere of bliss. It feels like Gods descend on earth to savour the sublime flavour of the hour.

Not on tuesday. The sirens of ambulances that immediately fileld the air after the blasts, perhaps modified and modulated the evening Bhajans: 'Lord, show us a way of of this madness'.

What do Hindus do?

They have a religious leadership which is confused and rudderless and unable to respond to times. A secular leadership which cares more about power and votes. A government that cannot protect their interests. A law enforcement mechanism which is medieval. And the miscreants who aid these inhuman deeds are almost invisible amongst the sea of innocent Muslim citizens of the nation.

A thousand years later, we are free in our lands. But our lives, religion and culture are not still safe. Each new incident only reminds the sad fact more poignantly, 15 August 1947 was only an illusory day of freedom.

another beauty from the same piece:

You're inconsistent, Lord,
I say with all due respect:
You created the merriest poet
But left his sense of humor wrecked.
Pain has suppressed my cheerful trope
And left me in the lurch;
If the maudlin game doesn't come to an end
I'll join the Catholic Church.

From Spenglers's regular at Asia Times online, a translation of this beautiful poem by Heinrich Heine, the 19th century German Jewish poet:

Skip the learned exegesis
Skip the reverential blessing,
Solve the damned conundrum for us
Just this once without digressing:

Why the righteous bear a cross
Along their road of woe, and bleed,
While the scoundrel trots victorious,
Happy on his lofty steed?

Who's to blame for this?
Might God's Omnipotence be less than full?
Or does He play these pranks on purpose?
Oh, that would be contemptible!

Every day we ask until
The question wears us out like cancer.
Then a shovelful of dirt stops up our
Muzzles - but is that an answer?

The Milkmaid's rapture

But why should I worry if Akrura took Him physically away?
When did my Kanha ever live in the world out there?
How can Sunrise affect the moonlit scenery in the heart?

Here in heart's chamber flows timeless, the music of His flute
Wafting through midnight's breeze fresh by Jamuna's touch
How can even a drought affect this eternal inner spring?

O this dark youth, swathed in yellow robes, adorned of
wild flowers and the peacock feather on his crown, has
enraptured the heart; what is time and where the world?

The Milkmaid's song

The whiz of husking, chatter of womenfolk,
and the whish of churning have stopped
Nanda's village has gone calm, its twilight:
Awaiting the return of men who left early;

It is so many years now since Akrura
summoned our beloved cowherd away
but still, this evening, my heart stops
as I hear this nearing clatter: of hooves,
stray moos, and desultory voices of men

Maybe, suddenly, out of that raised dust
He will appear, the dark one, like on that
distant day, He loomed sublime, dancing,
of swarthy Jamuna, on the serpent's head

The lamp of hope

I have lit the evening lamp in this
my small hut; It is really the lamp
of hope: this dusk like on so many
past ones, I sit still by the window
looking, into the courtyard, will my
Kanha, black like a monsoon cloud
appear out of the darkness today?

I have swept the dust out of this
my small hut, really, the dust of
distractions, today like on so many
past days; the evening breezes in
as I look anxiously outside: will my
Kanha, black like moonless nights
appear out of darkness today?

I have adorned the insides of this
my small hut, with flowers of best
fragrance: this day like on so many
past ones, I plucked'em finest, from
love's labour, in the garden of life;
I long for my Kanha, when will he
come drive this unreal light away?

another way os saying the same thing I was saying in the post below:

...

I have shut the world out of my room;
But looking at moonbeams trickling in,
I wish these delightful ones could
somehow come alive and give company

I have locked my lips from talking;
But I wish, this winter breeze could beat
with the sorrow of my heartbeats and
carry it away into that glowing distance

I wish I could be just my shadow-
Even if I wept with my muscles flexed
All that people could see would be
that strength in the silhouette

I cant even cast my present off,
move on: I'm addicted to this sad song
played out by the winds of time blowing
through this hollow reed of my life

To want and to deserve are things
quite apart: the waves of the oceans
all desire the blue sky above but
perish, in this very attempt to soar high.

I dont know what I feel
I dont wish to meet noone
but I long for soul's company
Dont want to talk nothing
but long to pour my heart out
I wish I could be strong
but just want to sit and weep
I see my hollow present
but just can't give it up either
I know what I want but
I dont feel like I deserve that

This excerpt from TVR Shenoy's latest opinion piece sums up the UPA's 'constitutionalism'. And the national media went to sleep because the mischeif maker is Congress, their own darling imp:

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is old enough to recall why January 26 is something more than just another holiday. It is the day we adopted our own Constitution. It is also the day we snapped all links to an alien crown, replacing a governor-general with a president — Dr Rajendra Prasad. This Republic Day, a man whose action was condemned as “unconstitutional” by the apex court, took the salute in Dr Rajendra Prasad’s home state, at a place named after the Father of the Nation.

Be honest with India, Mr Prime Minister, were these really reasons to celebrate Republic Day?

Hi again, world!

Hi world (I mean those litlle numbers who view this blog)! I'm back here after a while.

What did I do in this long time where I wrote no word here? Like the phoenix, tore myself down and rebuilt my life again!! Well I went to India. Each trip to India is such a memorable experience.

Winter in Hyderabad these days, is an amazing experience. The month of Kartika is beautiful- coming as it does after Diwali and how each house is decorated with lamps and how all temples send a lighted lamp up their flagposts! The mild chill that invades the city slowly, seems to carry with it a mystical quality. The early morning wind carries songs from temples. The afternoon sun is like soothing balm. Evenings are poignant. Thus days pass, like a tug of war between warmth and cold! Then as Kartika gives in to Margazhi, that holy month of devotion, the city is filled with fervour. The black colour is ubiquitous- this is the time at which the devotions of pilgrims to Sabarimala reach their peak. The Sabari pilgrims form groupsin neighbourhoods everywhere: colonies, markets and shops, and there are bhajan mandalis all around. Early mornings, noons and evenings they gather and chant aloud. In temples and streets batches after batches of devotees go around singing and dancing- 'Swami appa Ayyappa, Saranam appa Ayyappa, Swami tingana tom tom, Ayyappa tingana tom tom' , 'Rajadhi Rajane, veera Manikandane'..

India! beloved India!

I must sign off now, but I thought I must mention something unconnected to that para above: I found this really funny, the reposte that Prem Panicker, rediff cricket columnist gave to someone who was fooling around during a recent chat session with him:

sraidas : prem why are you wasting time like this.is it true that u are jobless and can do anything to get a piece of bread?

Prem Panicker : Oh lovely -- do you normally waste YOUR time chatting up jobless people?

Standard Responses

This is a witty way of saying what I was saying below about the standard and meaningless 'we condemn's:

Standard Pakistani Response

Some lives are expendable

It is time for Diwali, the favourite Hindu festival, time for celebrations and time for joy. But when in the last thousand years has this curse that hit India with Bin Qasem's stinking swarms left Hindus to live their life and enjoy their festivals in peace and happiness?

More than 60 people murdured again in Delhi. But who cares beyond those customary 'we condemn'? Who cared when a thousand years of relentless persecution and intolerance was imposed upon them? Who cares when every single day Hindus die in Bangladesh and Kashmir?

It'll all be forgotten soon. Just like the Hindu family which was killed brutally just on the day of that earthquake by Islamic terrorists. Just like the Mau violence few weeks back. Just like the attack on Ayodhya few months back. Just like the Marad massacre has been forgotten. Just like Akshardham has been forgotten, Godhra has been forgotten. Just like the 6 soldiers who were tortured and killed in Kargil were forgotten, just like Ripun Katyal has been forgotten. Just like Coimbatore blasts have been forgotten. Just like Bombay blasts have been forgotten.

Some lives are simply expendable.

Humanity comes first...

We humans are a special breed indeed. We raise ideas and ideologies to uphold supposedly noble things and then carry the heavy burden of these ideologies on our heads to ridiculous extents. Some quaint fellow in long past times thought up a few slogans. And the vast majority of semi literate men cling to these ideas as if ideas are for all time or that an idea that is good in one context is good for all contexts or that the more fashionable an idea is, the nearer to truth it is.

The Nazis were all taught kindness to animals but they couldnt be kind to fellow human beings. And the great irony that is, Hitler was a vegetarian. Love for all creation is the real virtue and not mere tendency to feed on grass. Its not being a vegetarian that makes a man great, but development and possession of a sensitive heart, that can feel suffering and respond to it.

And add to all such corpses from past that men put in holy coffins and carry on their heads, the idea of 'secularism'. Either in its etiologically pristine European form as sepration of Church from State or in its vulagrly distorted Indian form as equidistance of the State from all religions, it is simply unsuitable to modern times. Separation of Church and State assumed implicitly that both stood for the same values, and it was temporal power that was being snatched away from the former. But times have changed, modern society no more subscribes to the narrow bigoted views held by the Church or its draconian order or even its totalitarian God. Modern man does not hold that justice means different things to the faithful and the infidel, nor does he consider it natural that men must be persecuted just because they hold 'heathen' views. Reason, freedom and dignity are now recognised as universal values, that must be granted equally to all men and women.

And equally with the Indian distortion: equidistance from all religions is only possible so long as all religions are equally capable of being distant from the polity and equally recognize universal human values. But how can religions that have historically been at loggerheads with such values be allowed to carry on with their work at the expense of fundamental human values? Does the state stand for human values or for artificial ideas that have become modern crosses it must carry just to please some 'liberals' who are but a bunch who think their ideas are great just because there are some in Europe or in China who appreciate them?

Ideas are not great just because some smug intellectuals think so or because somebody pats us on our back for holding them. Ideas are to be judged only on the basis on how fair they and how true they are. Weighed on this scale, secularism fails, wilts. It is time for us to assure in Humanism as our guiding policy and uphold values such as will be conducive for human growth and enrichment.

This is called pure unadulterated bullshit.

excerpts:


How do you look at the earthquake?

The earthquake is the result of the rulers' sinful policies. They wanted the women to abandon hijab; run with men nude in bikinis; and learn dance and music. They were not afraid of Allah but (US President George) Bush. At his (Bush's) behest, they wanted to purge our schoolbooks from verses on jihad; befriend India and recognise Israel. They banned all the jihadi outfits and abandoned jihad. They made jihad an abusive term. They wanted all the Pakistanis to adopt the 'get-up' of Bush. They blatantly ridiculed the commandments of Allah. Thus they invited the wrath of God in the form of the earthquake.

yeah thats why Allah didnt strike Punjab but struck NWFP and AJK.


But the earthquake didn't kill the rulers?

Allah knows better why He didn't kill the rulers. He has warned the rulers by killing a section of the population. He wants the rulers to learn a lesson from the quake and become pious Muslims. There is also a lesson for common folk like us. We too are sinful. We too should seek Allah's forgiveness and adopt the right path. Otherwise, a bigger devastation will completely ruin us.

secretly he must be telling himself..'thats coz Allah knows I'm one of the connivers with the rulers , how can He strike us!!'

The quake and the wounded civilization

Naipaul's words have been famously quoted now so often: India is a wounded civilization. The internal factors that allowed that wound to be scored have not yest ceased to be and nor has the external hand that thrust the dagger right into India's heart has not been amputated yet. The wound is still suppurating.

The world does not understand when it puts China and India on the same platform. What strides India has made are a hundredfold more prodound that what China has. China did not have to contend with a thousand years of colonization and the hundreds of years of pillaging and marauding and plundering which accompoanied it in varying extents through time. China did not have its land and people and minds partitioned, I will not bluff like many people do, 'on the basis of religion': India was partitioned not because of 'religion' but because of Islam and the colonialism it represents. A spade is a spade, a dagger is a dagger. And many people, even the so-called 'nationalists' dont recognize this, when they gloat over 'the serious imbalance that exists in China's political system'. If not rolled back and repelled permanently, this dagger will cut through India's heart as if through butter, the day that external hand wakes up from sleep and connectes back to its chest, the Ummah.

And the only way to roll it back is to face the questions posed by it without wincing. Islam was thrust upon large parts of India at swordpoint, with daggers drawn to chest, through terror and through force. Centuries later, the converted populace, the brainwashed future generations of an enervated society, rationalised the conversion citing social reasons. But India accepts the faults of Her social system. Her whole national energy in a thousand years has been directed to correcting these faults, and we can see what stupendous progress has been achieved even in the paltry 50 past years after 'independence'. India accepts the ageing and the fallibility of the Smriti and proposes to rewrite it for every age. So there is no social reason to continue acceptance of an alien ideology on Indian soil and there is no basis for continued existence of a 'Pakistan'.

And the spiritual reasons? When was the last time the proponents of Islam could take on rationally the advanced spiritual views of the native Indian traditions? Individually or collectively, the Vedic-Shramanic or Hindu viewpoints present questions which the Mullahs sweep convenietly under their prayer carpets. What are the criteria for your acceptance of a man as a 'Prophet'? What is a 'Prophet' anyway? How can there be a 'one last Prophet' when we know that that last Prophet lived more than a thousand years ago and the world is not going to end in any near future? How does 'God' arbitrarily choose one man as his 'Prophet' as opposed to other men and women? Which brings to the most important question around which all this myhtology is built: what is 'God' anyway? Is this true, that there is a 'God' who interferes in the affairs of mankind like an impatient school kid?

And all facts that we can use to reason argue to the contrary, that there is no such 'God'. This earth is a cooled down collection of volcanoes and life is part of Earth's chemistry. This is what we can come to conclude. If more proof is required, please go to Muzaffarabad today and verify for yourself. Then, either you can continue to delude yourself on the mercy of a loving 'God' whose mercy is mysteriously concealed through disasters which 'He' sends to test man or, shake your head and reach for your senses: there is no such 'God'. The 'God' upon which Islam bases so much of its causistry is a humbug. The pious Jihadis who gave up everything in their life to fight the infidels on the mountains around Muzaffarabad found it the hard way when the shelters they were holed in during their pious endeavours fell upon their heads. The one solid argument which could be used like a crowbar to lunge this dagger out from India's chest was revealed from the depths of Earth's bosom last week. some 50,000 dead must be enough to convince reasonable men.

Where silence is so intense, only thoughts seem louder, where Sun's rays struggle but barely reach the earth; wind susurrates through the leaves to charm the heart; a gleaming stream looks like a blue necklace wrapped around the woods. To that remote jungle I want now to be transported. In that undisturbed joy, the mountains painted against the distant sky, will seem like a pointer. The distance is still undone, Truth yet unknown, and the peak yet unscaled. In that atmosphere I will lose myself in my self.

Existence of 'God'?

For quite sometime now I had completely abandoned the idea of a creator 'God', someone who sat as arbitrator on the events of the world. If at all there was someone, that someone is well beyond human reason, this is what I held. To those who propound a merciful God of the world, I had only few questions to ask: forget the endless number of natural disasters which seem sent to swallow men by the thousands, the Tsunami and Katrina being the latest, even the small timeline of a few thousand years of our memory is crowded with events of guesome cruetly of man to fellow man.

If Islamic armies committed macabre raids on India and the rest of the world upto just a few hundred years ago, the holocaust is not far from our view, 'Lajja' must bring me closer home and the latest Iraq war is still festering. A thousand people die in Iraq every week, their lives reduced to figures in the politcal battles in western capitals. How can a loving God, God of mankind permit such things? If even we accept that these are 'temporary' events in 'Cosmic' vision, every suffering man can know how intense the pangs of individual misery is. Unless ofcourse that God is among the sufferers. And that God is also evil as much as is good, and the veil as much as She or He is light.

This is Navaratri and Kaali is the answer. She generates life as much as She grants death. Nothing is excluded from Her. I for long, accepted 'Being' as the ultimate and dismissed a possible divine 'Will'. But what if that 'Will' is all play and that play is not simple? The answers to the most profound questions in life are paradoxes. 'Being-Will' seems to be the answer. A new joy has come over my life, I'm not a lost twig being whirled around by this current of life. There is an anchor and a direction.

Something has changed. Summer's now gone for weeks, autumn too will soon recede before menacing winter, like hyena before a lion. But there is warmth like in spring. There is anticipation, hope, a lightness of heart. Is this to say I'm being emotionally vagarious?. Far from. Its about the inner values. When I cannot live upto the values I hold dear, I feel low, unconfident, crestfallen and broken. When I have fallen back to being what I believe is the right way, the way that appeals to my heart, I feel on top, I feel special. The days are drawing markedly smaller, and sun sets earlier and earlier, but for now, cheer's the word and not drear.