News Flash - 1

Hello and welcome to the randomly updated news flash section on current affairs

* Just when people were beginning to wonder where the PM will surface this time after his latest vanishing act, he appeared again, at yet another remote 'peace conference'. His words of wisdom were that the country is facing grave internal and external dangers. Apparently everybody appluaded. Sources also say that most important topics concerning the country came up for discussion in the Q and A session and our PM responded, as usual, with a dignified and ponderous smile.

* HM Sri Chdiambaram has hit upon a novel plan for peace with the naxalites. He will appear on TV at midnight on one random day this week when IB are sure everybody is asleep, and announce a mechanism for the formation of the new state of Naxalangana. The whole affair it seems, will be in the manner of a live press conference and the naxals can call in and raise their concerns. Last heard, the naxls were desperately trying reach someone in a friendly neighbouring country to check on the proposed map of the new state.

* Companies in India may soon be hiring graduates without interviews. Yep, that's the latest gem from Kapil Sibal, following closely on the heels of his master-acts abolishing board exams, clamping down on the arrogant IITs, and pioneering IMFD (Indian made foreign degree). We assure him every success with his efforts for the 'best performing minister' award instituted by the PM.

* Highly placed sources confirmed that Nitin Gadkari is on a lean diet these days. No, not because he wants to look fit like Rahul. This is because he has vowed to Lord Ram that from now on he will eat at every village including and adjoining those that Rahul visits.

* Varun Gandhi has again said that BJP is losing out because they are not focussing on cows, which are our national wealth.

* A spokesperson for the Chinese Government bemoaned that while they are only providing humanitarian assistance to Pakistan,Sri Lanka, Burma, Bangladesh and Nepal pointing out that these countries dont just surround India, they are desperately poor and need lots of guns to survive, India is playing a dangerous game by training Bhutan, China's most prosperous and important southern neighbour.

* Pakistan has said that India was daydreaming. Apparently the 10 Pakistanis trained by their Army to kill hundreds in India in late 2008, were just that. Our collective nightmare. The Pakistani Ambassador to Chile, who is also a famous qawwali expert, clapped his hands and sang a song, 'hum parindey hain do watan ke lekin hain hum ek qom ke, jindagi kya hai kya maut sab hai khuda ke haath me, faraq kya padta hai kaun jiye kaun mare jab hum hai ek qom ke..such dreams should not come in the way of normalization of ties between one and the same people. how much does it matter who lives,if we are one and the same people'.

* Barack Obama has met the Dalai Lama. But he believes he has delivered the right message to China by not meeting him in the Oval Office.